The long-awaited New Year's post (and not even a month late!)

Ok, I know it's was like 3 weeks ago, but to be fair, the Russians are STILL celebrating the New Year.
After all,  this is the biggest holiday they've got. New Year's for Russians combines all the champagne and fireworks of January 1st with the tree and presents of the western Christmas. It's a pretty incredible event that lasts 10 days (although, as I said, they are still celebrating).  I read somewhere that the New Year used to be in March, closer to when the harsh winter was coming to an end. Then, Peter the Great determined that it would be on January 1st in order to be more aligned with the West (read about him in my St. Petersburg post).  The Russian Orthodox Christmas fell on January 7th, following the older Julian calendar. When the Russian Empire became the Soviet Union, religion wasn't cool anymore and so celebrating Christmas was out. From that time, New Years has been the most important holiday and sort of combines the best of both. After the fall of the USSR, people were allowed to openly celebrate the Orthodox Christmas, but it's popularity hasn't really revived.

Russians haven't got a Santa, but they've got a dude that looks a lot like him called Ded Moroz or Grandfather Frost. He's from a long Slavic tradition of evil frost spirits that freeze people and try to carry them away in a sack. Somewhere, under the influence of the church his purpose became more in line with the generous and giving St. Nicholas. He has a helper called Snegurochka or Snow Maiden, who is always a very pretty and blond Slavic bombshell who helps him distribute gifts. She is supposed to wear all white while Ded Moroz wears blue, as Stalin ordered, so as not to confuse him with the bourgeois capitalist Santa Claus. The great thing is that Ded Moroz and Snegurochka visit children in person on New Year's Eve. This effectively means that some appointed friends of the family are roaming around dressed up like cheap strip mall Ded Morozes and Snegurochkas to deliver presents. Inevitably, by the end of the night Snegurochka will be assisting a very inebriated Ded Moroz home.

Awesome, made-for-TV Ded Moroz and Snegurochka

The ones that are more likely to bring your gifts.

That's right, New Year's isn't just awesome for children- Jan 1st marks the beginning of a 10 day drinking spree (I cannot tell you the number of vodka bottles I saw in people's shopping carts the day before)! Of course, I mean a drinking spree for men. Women here don't drink. Well, at least good women don't drink. Maybe a glass of champagne when the clock strikes midnight. I asked my friend Elina what women do on the holiday. I gathered that they chat together, drink coffee, tea and juice, and eat lots of sweets. Somewhere in between they nurse their man's hangover.

And like everyone else, they watch TV all day on the 31st. There are children's fairytales and HOURS AND HOURS of what can only be described as variety-show entertainment. Wait, that goes on for DAYS (and is still here and there, though normal programming had resumed). Oh man. If you think Vegas is FABULOUS, let me tell you, it ain't got nothing on Russian New Year's entertainment. It's a phantasmagoria of sparkle and color and people who look like nothing you've ever seen before. Actually, they look frighteningly similar to some of my favorite childhood toys. But pictures speak louder than words:

Barbie. I wish I were joking.

Do you SEE that hair? That man IS Ken.

This is Russia's Paris Hilton. Those are her breasts. That is some dude. And that's the backdrop for this year's festivities

There she is again. And that's probably her mom.

The costumes were something

And there was a lot of group singing by presumably very famous people that I don't know. Imagine Elton John, Eminem, the Backstreet Boys and Miley Cyrus singing Jingle Bells. It's probably that epic.

Anyways, Petr and I watched this circus in the hours leading up to midnight. Then, 5 minutes before, the President gets on TV and gives a speech about his hopes for the coming year. It is NOT live. And more disappointingly, the awesome fireworks show that comes at midnight over the red square was not covered on TV AT ALL. We were going to go down there, but we lost track of time and then realized we couldn't walk it in the 30 minutes we had till 12. So I hoped to catch it on TV, but nooooooooo, that would be too convenient! Guess only privileged Muscovites get to see it. Well, Petr was pissed, but we walked there afterwards and enjoyed ourselves until after 2 visiting the five or so stages they had set up downtown with live music. The atmosphere was really great and Petr and I were commenting that it was the only time we've seen Muscovites smiling at each other, greeting each other, and generally being pleasant. If only it were New Year's every day!

One last thing: the Russians are channeling their Asian side big time because everywhere I go I have the opportunity to purchase rabbit paraphernalia ranging from bizarre statuettes to photo calendars. Happy Year of the Rabbit!

And I'm sending every one of you a calendar with my lovely face hovering above a cute bunny. Thrilled, huh?