The Kremlin and VDNKh

This weekend was an educational one, which is exactly how I like my weekends :-)
On Saturday, we went to the Kremlin. That's right, we payed the 350 rubles a piece to get in. Actually, we were planning to visit the State Armoury, which houses a bunch of cool things like the Imperial Faberge egg collection and the state diamond fund, but that was 700 rubles each, so we opted for the Kremlin instead. For those of you who've heard the term Kremlin but are fuzzy on the details, it's the historical governmental and religious center of Moscow. A kremlin is just a high point, like an acropolis in Greek, so many settlements in Russia have a kremlin. But the Kremlin refers to the walled fortress in the center of Moscow, right next to the Red Square and St. Basil's Cathedral. Inside of it's many-towered walls are the current seat of the president and houses the State Kremlin Palace, a number of historical palaces and churches, and both the largest bell, and largest existing cannon in the world.
It was sunny, but windy as hell, which made it slightly unpleasant to stroll around Cathedral Square. Subsequently, we spend much of our time inside the various churches. The most important are the Cathedral of the Assumption, where princes and Tsars were crowned and all the major patriarchs of the Orthodox church are buried, and the Cathedral of the Annunciation, which was a private chapel of the royal family and has icons from some of the most famous icon painters in Russian history. It's pretty touristy, so you don't get the somber atmosphere of working churches, but the interiors of these buildings were really fantastic. In an Orthodox church, the sanctuary is divided from the rest of the space by a screen that reaches the ceiling, called an iconostasis. Imbedded in this divide are the icons, some of which are very old and have been moved around for hundreds of years. Usually this is the focal point of the entire building and they can be extremely elaborate. It was all very impressive.

The Kremlin layout

Iconostasis in the Cathedral of the Assumption

Afterwards, we tried out this chain of restaurants called му му  (pronounced moo moo, and yes, everything is cow-themed) where you buy everything a la carte and eat off a tray. It's typical Russian fare, and a terrible idea to visit when one is cold, hungry and growing impatient, and traveling with Petr, who cannot make a quick decision. Outside the menu is posted in Russian and English. Inside, only Russian. I learned that later, while waiting in line. Whatever, I thought. I'll just look and pick based on appearance. But Petr! He was driving me nuts asking me again and again "what should I get?" as the line continually moved forward and our turn was approaching. How the hell should I know!? I can't read the menu and you can. I'm totally winging it here- I can not possibly advise you when I don't even know what I'm eating!!! Let's just say my patience was probably not adequate enough for this particular situation. All was smoothed over by some nice 75% dark chocolate later :-)

Sunday I was feeling more upbeat. The wind had let down and the sun was still out. What's more, we were going to the VDNKh, or the Exhibition of Economic Achievements of the USSR. This is a MASSIVE exhibition park which opened in 1959 to showcase the achievements of the republics of the USSR. It is an amazing artifact of Socialist Realist architecture- the style supported by Stalin's regime, characterized by ridiculous opulence and kitschy awesomeness. I was in love. There are 80 pavilions, some dedicated to the different republics, others to specific industries. Apparently there was one pavilion which housed a pig from each of the republics. If that doesn't scream Soviet might, I don't know what does. Of course now there is nothing left but the facades. Inside, in place of prize hogs, are a million tacky little shops with east-Asians selling everything from fur coats to used TV remotes. The main entrance to the complex is a gigantic triumphal arch with a tractor driver and a collective farm girl holding up a bunch of grain. In front of it there are babushkas lined up selling clothes and kittens bundled up in their jackets. It's pretty sad. The massive gate leads to a huge gilded fountain with statues of maidens from all republics in national costume.
I'll take the time now to mention a little Russian cultural observance: Russian women/girls love to make "model" poses in photos. Pull out a camera and they're instantly popping out a knee, hand on hip, pouting. My favorite is the both-hands-up-cradling-the-chin-with-a-look-of-girlish-innocence-pose.  I entertained myself for several minutes watching one woman churning out various poses in front of the maiden fountain. She then, in 6" heels, bounced over to her man/photographer (who was wearing a black leather jacket, of course), her obvious hair extensions flapping in the wind as she hurried to examine the fruits of her labor.
Near the end of the park is the Kosmos pavilion, outside of which is a replica of the Vostok rocket which carried Yuri Gagarin into space in 1961. It was covered by scaffolding, but right next to it they had an airplane and for some price you could enter it and do just about whatever you wanted. Kids were climbing all over the wings. No worries about lawsuits here!

The main gate with statues of heroic farmers

One of the largest pavilions, a perfect example of Classicism in Socialist Realism, and good ol' Lenin

Does my hair look good?

The younger "models"

Maybe this posing has a long tradition....

The Ukrainian pavilion

The pavilion for Karelia, the northern province that borders Finland

This is a pavilion for butchers, and that is a giant bull on top 

Plane. If only I had a close up of the "artwork" on it. Barf.

The rocket is looking quite grounded.

Most of these monuments to Socialist might are falling apart now. The Soviets spent a lot of time and rhetoric talking about the future, but they didn't use building materials that were designed to last past 30 years. This is not the case for the GIANT sculpture near VDNKh, which is featured in the beginning of every Mosfilm production (it's like the MGM lion). It looks like it could last an eternity. The absolutely monumental sculpture of a man and woman holding hammer and sickle is atop the museum of sculpture, which is now on my list of places to visit when the weather is too horrible to go outside. I'm almost hoping for the snow now. I did not just say that...

I'm guessing the figures are about 3 stories high. At least.

Click here to see how every Mosfilm production started since the 1940s.